Upset in the Burger Wars

There’s an upset looming in the Burger Wars: Wendy’s is set to overtake Burger King as America’s second favorite fast food hamburger.

Number one? Oh, that’s McDonalds, of course, and they’re in no danger of losing the crown. So the big battle is for number two.

Recently, Wendy’s embarked on a big upgrade campaign, making over their restaurants and improving their burger recipes, going back to the way they USED to make them in the good old days – hot & juicy. I tried one of their new old burgers, and I gotta say, kudos Wendy’s. That’s the way to make ‘em. And America seems to think so, too. Experts predict Wendy’s will leapfrog Burger King for the number two spot sometime in 2012.

But part of me still loves Burger King. Love that flame-broiled taste. On the other hand, McDonald’s fries win for me. I’m not kidding – I used to grab a burger at a Burger King, then go across the street and get my fries from McDonalds.

But sometimes a big southwestern from Carl’s Jr. is the next best thing to sex. It depends on what kind of mood you’re in.

If you want something other than fast food chains though, I have to admit that the best burgers I’ve ever had in my life come from a little tiny place in West Hollywood called Hamburger Haven. Pure heaven! Grease, the way the gods intended us to eat it!

So slaughter up those cute little cows and let’s nom ourselves until we can’t nom any more! And are you worried about heart disease? Look, we’ve gotta die of something. So might as well die licking our fingers clean after devouring a hot juicy burger and letting that heavenly grease run down our chins! Damn, I am so turned on right now!

Congressional wealth distribution

(H/t The Daily What)

4.74 degrees of separation

Remember back in the 90’s when the game “Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon” was all the rage? If you don’t remember (what rock were you rotting under?) it went like this: You had to list six or less relational threads tying someone to Kevin Bacon. Most of the time, it worked.

Apparently, the game had its roots in some real sociological research that showed there were on average six degrees of separation between most people. A guy named Stanley Milgram published the results of a study he did on this back in 1967 (and smart Peter Gabriel fans will recognize him as the subject of Gabriel’s 1986 song “We Do What We’re Told”). But the six degrees thing actually goes back further than that – to a short story published in 1929 called “Chains.”

Modern scientists in conjunction with some folks from Yahoo and Facebook began wondering if those six degrees still hold true in today’s super-connected socially networked world, so they started some new research in August 2011. What they’ve found so far? That the world is shrinking – it’s not just six degrees separating us from each other, now it’s more like 4.74!

But “4.74 Degrees of Kevin Bacon” just doesn’t sound as cool.

Happy New Year

Get ready for 2012. Or in dog years, 14084.

Damn doors

It’s happened to all of us, more than we care to admit. We’re sitting in the living room, ass flat on the couch. We get up, go to the kitchen, and then stand there… having forgotten what we came into the kitchen for.

Blame the doorway.

Yep, that’s right. Some new scientific research is showing that because of the way our brains work, walking through a barrier like a doorway can make us forget what we walked through it for. Because our brains often compartmentalize thoughts and plans, the act of leaving one room and entering another also “compartmentalizes” what we were planning to do, and the brain pushes it aside.

Brains can be so stupid.

Here’s an article at Scientific American that explains it in more detail. Fortunately, I didn’t walk into another room to write that down.

So when you’re standing there like an idiot, unable to remember what you’re there for, blame the doorway. That, or you’re drinking too much again. Oh hey, wait a minute, THAT’S what I came in here for. To get vodka. Okay, what were we talking about?

Windows 95, the musical

Brian Eno is a musician and producer who’s been in the music biz longer than many of us have been alive. He’s done all kinds of music, but he’s most popular for “ambient music,” and well, if I’ve got to describe it, that’ll ruin it for you.

Microsoft knew what a cool guy he was, so when they were looking for some cool new sound to set their new Windows 95 apart (What? They had computers back then?), Brian was the guy they went to.

So Eno composed the little musical cue many of us came to forever associate with the booting up of our Windows 95 machines – hopeful, a new day dawning, a sun coming up somewhere over a hilly field of green grass with a gorgeous blue sky overhead and some fluffy white clouds that… Hey, wait a minute… that was the generic Windows XP desktop, wasn’t it?

Actually, Eno came up with 83 pieces of music, and Microsoft picked the one they liked the best. The four adjectives Microsoft gave him when they commissioned him was “inspirational, sexy, driving, provocative and nostalgic.” Imagine having to work all four of those things into just a few notes.

It’s not saying too much that Eno’s little musical cue is responsible for a big part of the Windows 95 experience, but it might surprise you to know that Eno isn’t a PC guy… Nope, he’s Mac, all the way. He says he composed the little piece of Windows music on a Mac, and he’s never used a PC in his life, nor does he ever intend to.

But that wasn’t enough to stop Microsoft from using his instantly recognizable little “theme” for Windows 95.

Harmony

Occasionally, every once in a great while, you harmonize with someone. And when it happens, it feels so right, so natural, like it's the way we were made to be. But then you realize, if we were made to harmonize this way, why does it happen so rarely, and for some not at all?

Going home

"For someone who was never meant for this world, I must confess I'm suddenly having a hard time leaving it. Of course, they say every atom in our bodies was once part of a star. Maybe I'm not leaving. Maybe I'm going home."

War Horse

War Horse is wonderful. It has the feel of a classic – like one of those movies you saw as a kid and never forgot, and even when you’re grown up thinking about it chokes you up all over again.

Films like this are why I love movies. It’s always great to watch a master at work, and Spielberg puts in one of his best efforts, though parts may be difficult to watch for those of us sensitive to depictions of animal peril. This one ranks right up there with Saving Private Ryan, and a theater full of young and old had bad cases of the sniffles when the credits rolled. It's a movie for anyone who's ever loved horses or any kind of animal. But it’s also a gritty war drama in its depiction of World War 1, like this generation hasn’t seen.

Five stars out of five. Easy. But then again I’m a sucker for this kind of movie, and I’m a sucker for Spielberg.

When I die…

When I die, I'm going to tell whoever's there to lean in close to me, and I'll say, "Listen. I got away with it. I got away with all of it. 6 million dollars. And it's all buried at... at..." and then I'm going to cough and breathe out my last breath.

Mission Impossible

J.J. Abrams' name on a movie hasn't disappointed me yet, and with Brad Bird (with his live-action directorial debut), they turn in the most fun impossible mission of all with Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol. The vertigo-inducing building climb sequence would win the Oscar for best action set piece if they ever gave one out - definitely the most memorable one of the year. Tom Cruise will win back a lot of Hollywood goodwill with this one, and it's on its way to being the box office champ this weekend.

The first MI was pretty good, the second bored me to tears. The third, under the direction of Mr. Abrams, was the previous winner, but I dare say this one tops it. Fans of the original TV show get a lot more use of the Lalo Schifrin theme than the previous outings have given us, and we even get an exploding telephone gag thrown in for good measure.

Four magnetic gloves out of five. So much fun, you’ll almost think it’s summer.

Goodbye 2011

The Jib Jab people are back, maybe for one last time. (By next year, the meme should be dead.)

The Hobbit–An Unexpected Journey

Only a year to go…

Sherlock Holmes: A Game Of Shadows

Caught a showing at the Grove today… I think I was able to follow most of the movie, while wincing in pain at how loud it was.

That’s not the movie’s fault. Yes, there are lots of loud fight scenes, explosions and whatnot, but the last few years the Grove has been trying to outdo itself turning up the volume. I have permanent hearing damage from a showing of Inception… and the Grove is only turning them up louder. I’ve been to lots of concerts in my life… but none of them were ever as loud as an action movie at the Grove.

And this isn’t just some old guy whining. There were some teenagers in the theater with their hands over the ears in some parts. I kid you not.

It’s not like I haven’t complained. I have. Many times. Each time the smiles are more and more dismissive. So I can only tell my friends that if it’s an action flick, either take ear protection or don’t see it at the Grove.

Okay, old man yelling at clouds is over…

If you like the first Guy Ritchie Holmes flick, you’ll certainly like this one, no doubt about it. It’s as much fun as the first, if a bit more haphazardly paced. And where the first one took a moment to show us the sad loneliness of Sherlock Holmes, this one passes that by for more banter between Holmes and Watson.

Jared Harris’ Moriarty is the best thing about this latest chapter (and nice to see one of the supporting players from Mad Men on the big screen). And there are some fun nods to Holmes lore for the more literary-minded… including a nice little nod to a certain waterfall, though the film decides to turn that ultimate conclusion on its head (MUST make sure there’s room for the inevitable third sequel).

As before, the chemistry (and a little homoerotic playacting) between Robert Downey Jr’s Holmes and Jude Law’s Watson is terrific. My one complaint is that the gimmick of having Holmes’ interior monologue plan out some physical altercation and then carry it out is used too many times. They should have saved it for the final confrontation between Holmes and Moriarty – we would have been waiting for it expectantly, rather than dreading yet another appearance of it.

But when all is said and done, it rates at least as good as the first, and you get almost everything you expect from it. Three violins out of four.

Oh, one final note: the repetition of the “get that out of my face” gag apparently didn’t make it into the final cut, even though it appeared in some of the trailers. Unless I missed it because the damn thing was so freakin’ loud, that is.

The Spielberg Face

An interesting video essay exploring Spielberg’s masterful use of the face closeup.

I’ll fight a chicken with hands!

Bad Lip Reading: Rick Perry's "Strong" ad - watch more funny videos

Cat talk

Cat: Have, have you drawn up a will yet?

Me: No, why?

Cat: Because you’re out of cat food.

Me: I don't underst--... Oh wait, now I get it.

Cat: Yeah, see what I did there? A little threat wrapped in some cuteness.

Men In Black 3

The trailer for Men In Black 3 started making the rounds today. If this new sequel is better than 2 and at least half as good as 1, I’m there.

The first Men In Black was loads of fun, fast-paced, with a sufficient story and great performances… and not too long. Number two didn’t have any of those qualities. I barely even remember the second one, but the first is still fresh in my mind and I haven’t watched it in years.

The 90 best Twitters

The 90 best Twitter accounts of 2011 are listed here: http://www.buzzfeed.com/jpmoore/the-90-best-twitter-accounts-of-2011.

Personally, I recommend @ChristianWheel, @MarconiBologna and @Pres_Bartlet.

Alec Baldwin cameo on SNL

This is why Alec Baldwin is the funniest man on TV. He’s totally unafraid to skewer anyone, including himself.

Priceless

This one goes into the play over and over again video file. Watch it with the captions on.

Stephen King’s “11/22/63”

I finished reading Stephen King's "11/22/63" last night. It's already on a few best lists for 2011, and deservedly so.

I’m a big fan of King’s early work, but I began to lose interest when he started recycling plots and using stock characters in seemingly every book. But this one brings me right back into the fold, and it’s probably one of the most emotionally affecting novels he’s written. I won’t tell you how wrapped up in the story and the people I got. There were a few spots where I had to stop and, uh, clean my reading glasses. And I must admit that this one’s responsible for me losing track of time when I should have been sleeping, looking at the clock and saying, “Holy crap, it’s 3 a.m. already?” It’s been a long time since a book kept me up because I literally could not put it down.

The nice surprise here is that it turns out King shines so brightly at something other than horror, in this case science fiction/alternate history. But an even bigger surprise is that “11/22/63” turns out to be a love story, and a damn effective one at that. Sadie, the love interest, is so real and literally dances off the page with such a lifelike grace that the reader has no choice but to fall in love with her as well. I'm hard pressed to think of any other character in King's impressive oeuvre that seems as real.

This one goes on the shelf right next to "The Stand," King's best novel.